Your Husband’s Health

by Youmasu J. Siewe, Ph.D, MPH.

The following article was published in the Stillwater News Press on June 26, 2002.

If you are lovingly married, and not just “doing time” in your marital relationship, this article could be of interest to you. The average American husband dies about seven years earlier than his wife. According to US Census Bureau, International Database, men in most countries of the world die earlier, leaving wives to endure widowhood and related loneliness for many years, except where remarriage is considered to the old, or newfound friend.

Health and behavioral scientists have identified “behavioral” attributes that might be contributing to differences in life expectancy between males and females. Behavioral attributes of primates, including humans that may contribute to early male death, are generalized as: Males are more daring, engage in more risky and stress-producing endeavors. They are more territorial, like to assume dominant roles in social settings, more likely to fight or compete with other males to control resources, including territories and access to females. Males also tend to build hierarchical social order, more reactive, less cautious, more involved in breaking up conflicts between lesser ranking males, females, juveniles, and less likely to adopt health-promoting behaviors. These behavioral attributes are known to have physiological effects that increase male vulnerability to unintentional injuries, illnesses and early death.

Conversely, female primates, including humans, are more likely to be involved in parenting and nurturing as a result of the close dependence of infants on maternal milk supply. They tend to be less driven by competition, less territorial or hierarchical, and socialize more horizontally. Females tend to be more cautious in mating, prefer males who are dominant and control the most resources, and like to maintain bonds with mates through grooming and care-giving behaviors. They are also more likely to be less confronting, less combative, more conforming, more interested in building and maintaining social bonds, and more likely to adopt health-promoting behaviors. These behavioral attributes are known to have physiological effects that decrease vulnerability to unintentional injuries, illnesses, and prolong life in females.

Whether these attributes are due to differences in raising males and females in our society, the reality is that husbands continue to die sooner than wives, and the challenge is that a loving wife can help her husband to live longer! Note: a healthy husband gets more fun out of life and is considerable more fun to live with. Below are suggestions a wife can use, to enable a husband to live longer with her in marriage.

1. Be realistic in marriage: your current husband is not a substitute-father, ex-husband or ex-boyfriend. Marriage is an institution that requires continuous adaptation, should not be rushed into, or haphazardly managed, and requires continuous investment for viability and zest.
    
2. Decrease the physical and emotional demands made on husbands; husbands might not be able to handle the demands made on them, and are likely to drive their bodies to extremes, just to prove they are stronger than others. They may also work themselves to death just to leave a wife or family well provided for. A loving wife can help her husband live longer by making him find ways to love life more than money or career success.
    
3. Stop his procrastinating habit for the next health check-up, by making the doctor’s appointment for him. Many male-specific health problems become fatal, because of late detection.
    
4. If he is overweight or obese, prepare healthy meals and get him to join you at the local sport club or engage him in your routine walking or jogging practice at the local park or trail. If he drinks too much or smokes, do not nag or tease, but schedule a meeting with him, and respectfully discuss your concerns about his smoking or drinking behavior.
    
5. Support his hobbies: A husband who has a hobby is healthier, happier and easier to live with.

Show approval and affection. Most husbands seldom get desired attention from their place of work. A loving wife can use affection to improve a husband’s holistic health, and thus increase her life spent in marriage, and not in widowhood, or remarrying the “new friend” who might become a health or resource liability.  Remember, a healthy husband gets more fun out of life, and is considerable more fun to live with.