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PARENTING ISSUES

Anger | Of Interest | Positive Guidance | Communicating | Television | Crisis

POSITIVE GUIDANCE DURING CHILDHOOD

As children grow older and enter kindergarten and the elementary school years, recommended guidance techniques are different from earlier years. Because cognitive skills are changing, children can remember and think about their behaviors in different ways. They begin to see how their behaviors can impact others. They can begin to cooperative, share, and wait for their turn more easily. They want to be independent, and yet, they need encouragement. Here are some additional thoughts on guiding children.

WHAT IS POSITIVE GUIDANCE?

  • Non-destructive to self-esteem.
  • Allows child to remain valued as a person.
  • Encourages cooperation.
  • Allows child to learn gradually the skills needed in taking responsibility for what happens.
  • Teaches child not to blame others.
  • Allows child to relate successfully.
  • Helps child to problem solve.

The goal of positive guidance is to help children develop positive self-concepts and healthy functioning consciences.

THE REASONS FOR MISBEHAVIOR

A child’s reasons for misbehavior may be a mystery to adults. Oftentimes misbehavior is related to illness, attention seeking, lack of inner control, a power struggle with an adult, a desire for revenge, of feelings of despair (low self-esteem). Adults should attempt to first, identify the cause of the misbehavior. Next, adults should deal with the misbehavior. Some ways to deal with misbehavior include:

  1. Redirect the child.
  2. Remove the child from the activity.
  3. Emphasize the positive areas of the child’s interactions.
  4. Set limits.
  5. Talk privately about the behaviors and why they cannot be allowed.
  6. Demonstrate behaviors you would like imitated.
  7. When all else fails, talk with the parent/teacher. The child may be present during these discussions.

DISCIPLINE IS....

  • Helping children learn to get along with others.
  • Teaching a child acceptable behaviors.
  • Helping a child to learn self-control.
  • Reinforcing a child’s positive interactions with others.
  • Helping, teaching, and moving a child toward increased independence.

WAYS TO HELP CHILDREN FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES

  • Spend time with each child.
  • Tell your children often that they are loved.
  • Praise your child’s abilities.
  • Allow children time to do things themselves.
  • Respect your child’s feelings and thoughts.
  • When a mistake is made, admit the mistake.
  • Ask your child for an opinion/ideas.
  • Teach your child how to cope with success and failure.

Effective guidance depends on understanding each individual child and understanding the way children act at different ages.